We celebrated Christmas as a couple, we also celebrated with each of our families, and then wrapped up everything with a quick trip up to Fort Mill to see Jon's extended family for a Christmas celebration. Let me tell you, being 35 weeks pregnant and traveling 4+ hours in a car isn't the best idea. But it was so worth it seeing everyone before the baby comes. Also, while we were up there, Jon and I realized it had been 5 years since he proposed to me. He proposed to me during Christmastime, on a bench in Fort Mill, right outside his grandparents' house. It was so special and perfect. The image above was our little tribute to our engagement 5 years ago. I'll never forget that feeling when he proposed. I felt hot and cold, shaky, "floaty", and filled with emotions. It was one of the best days of my life. The only other time I've ever felt that same overwhelming emotion was the day I found out we were pregnant with Soren.
Speaking of Soren, we are officially sitting at 36 weeks and a few days. Everything is feeling more and more "real". I'm getting past the just wrapping my head around the idea of being pregnant and starting to realize a little life will come into the world soon that we'll be responsible for raising, protecting, and loving. I've found myself over and over again having images of seeing him for the first time, feeling his little body on my chest, hearing his cries for the first time, and it brings me to tears of joy. Something that's been pressed to my heart lately is the fear of losing him. I've seen so many wonderful mommies grieve the loss of their newborn or go down a hard journey of watching them fight for their lives. I have no idea how long God has planned for Soren to be on this earth. That's something I can't know and can't control. But what I do know is that no matter how long his life is I want to truly do my best to be a good steward of it and love him as much as possible. I think handing Soren over to God will become a daily prayer and action for me. From here on out I'll always be a mom, Jon will always be a dad, and Soren will always be part of our hearts. I am honored to be his mommy and I can hardly wait to meet him. I've never been so in love with someone I haven't met before. It's such a weird feeling.
I went to my appointment a couple days ago and the doctor said I was already 2cm dilated and that my body was doing what it needed to in order to begin preparing for birth. It's getting closer and we are over here getting anxious, nervous, and excited about the fact that he could be here anytime within the next few weeks!
I've been nesting like crazy!! And I think it's contagious because Jon has been right there alongside me getting lots of things checked off our to-do list. I keep joking with him that I've gotten more done in the past 3-4 days then I've gotten done in a whole month. This has been such a tiring and un-cozy trimester so I'm more than happy to fully take advantage of these bursts of nesting energy. We've been doing some basic projects like finishing up his nursery and doing lots of little things to get ready for his arrival and we've also accomplished a few home projects! We painted the dining room and my studio this past weekend and have been doing lots of cleaning and some decorating. I've also been working to get all of my ducks in a row for Maiedae to prepare for my leave. Again, lots of nesting energy over here...it's making me wonder if he's planning on arriving sooner that his due date. He's also SO low that I can literally feel him squishing my bladder and head-butting my cervix. He's in launching position for sure!
Also, this is completely random but I recently took a little trip to Sam's Club and totally forgot how freaking awesome it is. I haven't been since I was a lot younger so going back with "adult eyes" was the coolest. I think it's my new favorite store. I'm planning to make a trip soon to buy in bulk and store up on things we go through quickly. Nerd alert!
So, about this new year. Last year was filled with so many things...big changes for Maiedae, quitting my 9-5 job, lots of trips, getting pregnant, buying a home, finding out about my mom's cancer, finding out that my mom is cancer-free...lots of ups and downs and big emotions. This year is already bound to be a life-changer with the arrival of Soren. I'm also so excited that my mom is on the other end of her chemo treatments and will start to feel all better soon! I'm really looking forward to seeing what will happen this year and what it will teach me.
I'm usually all about setting goals, but this year I wanted to simplify things a little and focus on accomplishing simple things. I decided to identify areas of my life that are important to me (wife, mommy, family/friends, Maiedae, personal development etc.) and work on one small task or goal within each. Something that could be adaptable and realistic but encouraging and challenging. I'm honestly still working through each of these but I'm looking forward to focusing on these in 2014. :)
Well, that's about all I have to catch up on! Seriously, thank you all for being such amazing readers and for supporting Maiedae like you do. It means so much and is such an honor to be part of. I hope all of you had a wonderful holiday season and that this year grows you in so many good ways. Lots of love!!